Chuck Norris Karate
Today was a busy day at work. But that is boring to talk about so here is a story from when I was little:
I loved the Ninja Turtles when I was little. Wait. Who am I kidding? Loved? I love the Ninja Turtles. Neither here no there. Anyway, every Halloween I wanted to be a 50’s girl. Just give me a poodle skirt I would tell my mom. Every year. However, every day that wasn’t Halloween, just like the Ninja Turtles, I wanted to be a ninja. Eventually, my mom let me and my brother (who also wanted to be a ninja) join the Chuck Norris School of Karate (yes you read that right). This was before he was cool (yes there was a time the golden hair stud was not as popular as he is today). Now, things might have gone great except this is one of my life stories so you know it has to have a weird twist to it.
The twist - my instructor was always drunk. Yep, drunk. I remember he came running into the room one time, crossed the floor, tried to kick the punching bag, missed and fell horribly onto the ground. When I giggled, he told me to do a thousand push-ups. If anyone knew me as a child you know I was raised to always listen to authority … so immediately I started to cry. I told the instructor I wanted to do the push-ups but I knew that a thousand was beyond me. I remember my mom being really mad and complaining to whoever was in charge.
But we kept going. I think Will and I really wanted to be ninjas quite badly. If I remember correctly, we only stopped going when a kid accidentally got hit or kicked in a tournament by the same instructor. He was trying to demo something and was a little off kilter … oops. As a result of this, for years, I had nightmares about evil ninjas I had to defeat with my awesome orange belt skills.
I still wouldn’t mind being a ninja … maybe I should look back into karate.
